Everything Science Forum

Time for leave, and testing new equipment

Neither of which we participate in.

AOB, we could use the Borg's assistance in testing our new ships, and equipment.

I love doing them, and im good at them too, and they r soo much easier than long away missions.

In what way?

Labatt, doc your ship, and we will over haul her.

AOB, in your vast collection of knowledge, the Borg has discovered many different and unusual area's that would be great envirements in testing all our new tech

A few days and several million credits later:

A bleary eyed Nerd stares into the main screen of his new ship. Trading and bartering for 2 days straight. His eyes hurt.
"Chatoiter. Plot next course."
"Three doors down, open door, hit sack."
"Very funny. @#%$ AI's."
"Plotting next course. Course entered: Toi, Tie, cEl, Sa, Gli, Toa, Sa, Chi, Che, ChE."
"Alight. Chatoiter. BLINK!"

All those involved, please see post in Weapons Bay to see the whole story.  Talk about out of the frying pan, into the fire.

Mons :ESK (http://community.theunderdogs.org/smiley/armed/ar15.gif ):ESK

D@#n, sounds good to me. I'll go grab P.

By the way, guys, P said to tell you that she'll reinstate rover's rank on Monday. She's been kinda busy this weekend. Zed had the company Christmas party Friday night, and she pretty much danced the night away, then slept all day Saturday.

Oh, yeah, Dingo, you have leave, too, she said. She...kinda wants to talk to you in private, at some point, though, I think...

I'm not too worried about Rover tryin' to investigate us. We ARE the Men in Black, after all. What the h&ll are neuralyzers for?

"This is NRD Trading Vessel Chatoiter*, requesting permission to dock , trade and barter with the WAN III for supplies, fuel and credits. Security code: 154257."

What kind are you looking for?

Nerd takes another swig of the bottle of U-sub.
"Wow, three hours and still no docking clearance. Ya think they'd be happy to see me, seeing as how I'm carrying booze."

Nerd57, permission granted...sorry for the delay, all of our bays were full.  Have opened up special supply docking bay directly to bar.

AOB, locations even the Borg usually avoid.

Thanks admiral, how soon can I depart??  As for a private console, before or after my leave???

Something, like a weapon that will destroy 1 bozzo Command Mother ship, with 1 shot.  thats what i am looking for.

There are several, and for several different reasons. What types are you looking for?

AOB...we are looking to test out new weapons, and upgraded shields and other technical improvements.  We are looking for an area where we can actively do a proper test, but some area that will be challanging, but not an area occupied by a powerful race.  And no where near Bozolands.  Anti-matter area's would be a good beginning

A long, narrow cylinder glides out from the Chatoiter and connects to the docking port on the WAN III. The cargo, booze, booze, and more booze, is carefully shipped haphazahardly down the tube and through the docking ring.
"I'm coming onboard, and I'm going to have to go through the bar. This... may get messy." Nerd equips himself with his Arc blaster and several Charged Plasma explosives.
Looking at himself in the mirror, "Maybe I should take my shirt off, tie a bandana around my head, fight 5 heavy weights and kill my twin brother/clone."

See Bar for rest of Nerds "The (Drunken) Odyssey"

BIC to NRD Trading Vessel Chatoiter....BIC to NRD Trading Vessel Chatoiter...we have an urgent need to place an order with you:  We need the following:

30,000,000 1 mile long I beams.
750,000,000,000 tons of granite
1,000,000 tones of top soil.
3,000,000,000 barrals of water
200 fission reactors
500,000 square miles of canvess.

We will of course pay good rates.  We are still building our new homeworld, and are running out of material

WAN III WAN III this is Rover10 I say again this is Rover10. Requesting permission to dock. After weeks on Prozac I decided to return. May I have my piloting job back?In my free time I will repair the flight bay.

I over heard BIC. If you want my opinion the Bozo's are building a new homeland to base there operations.I think we should deprive them of goods. Trade embargo?This will destroy our long time enemy's even if it means not getting a really big paycheck.


I will talk more after I land.

Rover out..

"Nah see, I'd listen ta yer advahce und I'd let yah know what I was doin, and I'd weigh ull my ohptions cahfully, but Aye'm PISS DRUNK and I need some more boooooze."

(WAN IVB dives, climbs, rolls and does several G-pounding manuvers. The ship keeps getting hap-hazardly close to Orstio station)
Thanks for the new control system, still need to get used to it but when i actually finish reading that swaheli book this will be the best Interstel ship known.

Energy drainers pretty cool too. ;) (http://www.ezboard.com/intl/aenglish/images/emoticons/wink.gif );)

Rover permission granted.  Start studing Swahilli in your spare time.  The new mind links seem to be working.

Trade embargo...we could use the funds coming in...hmmmm, be a good delivery vehical for "bugs"  Besides if we do not supply them, someone else will.  And we can control the quality.....Quality control is logical, and we know Bozo's do not believe in logic

Nemisis, do your manuveers a bit further out.....the controls take getting use to...*KLANG* uhh oh, Nemisis, you smacked the WAN...no damage, those new shields.  But we are still recording an unusual power drain.

Antimatter area....none known to us. The center of the Milky Way galaxy is volitale. We avoid fluidic space, but it is inhabited...

AOB we will send probes into the central area of the galatic center, and see if we can locate a uninhabited area.  We will keep the Borg informed of new discoveries

Any others you would like information on?

*incoming message*

This is my farewell to my good friends on the WAN III. I am dying so a new emporer of the Arcturians will arise soon. I have selected him and he will be a good choice. He will send an ambassador to your ship also. I think his name is Altair. Well I better go. Bye my good friends.And destroy the Bozo's.  

*message stops*

*ship comes into view*

WAN III this is Arcturian ambassador Altair requesting permission to dock and come aboard.I have been sent from the newly appointed Arcturian King Arcturus I, to serve on this vessel for diplomatic reasons.

u see im looking to invent a weapon.

Arcturian ambassator.....welcome to the WAN....Please drop your shields and be prepared for automatic docking sequence and full medical screening and scanning.  We have recieved your race's medical profile, but require fine tuning as your's is the first being from your race.  Please also present your dietary requirements.

Dr Peter, Dr Blacknebula, Medical Officer Snazee please report to isolation bay 31 to recieve new ambassator.

Labatt, please report to the Kitchen for consultation on your new recipy.

AOB.....recommend additional area's of interest for join investigation.

If there was an area we wanted investigated, we would have already done so.

Dingy, what are you still doing here? I thought I sent you word that you could have your leave. Enjoy yourself, old friend.

Meanwhile, I have to finish my paperwork. A Fleet Admiral's desk stacks up quickly.....

I'm here. Snazee a medical officer? Anyway lets take a look here.

hmmmmm........

Open your mouth.....

ehhhhhhhh.........

well let me decide.

hmmmmm......

Everything is fine so I give him an a ok. Enjoy your visit. Please come to the bar whenever you would like.That is where I will be.

Admiral.... I have served a while here without much sleep from sickbay and I am in desperate need of leave. May I go with Dingo?Pete can take over sickbay.He knows how it runs.

*Hearing that his leave is granted immediately, Dingo rushes to his skit, grabbing BlackNebula on the way*

Doc, I will drop you off at a human planet along the way.  I am going to visit an old friend and exchange cooking tips.

(muttering under his breath...darn that K, horned in on my girl)

*Dingo departs the WAN on leave*

Can you drop me off at Beron. The planet is paradise and I hear they have a good weapons testing area on their moon.

*Dingo opens pod door to let me out*

You enjoy your time and don't get in troooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuubbbbbbbbblllllllllllllllllllllllleeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!

*I land on Beron*

(WAN IVB flies like an endurance test with cones except the cones are the docking sleeves)
Does this seem out of place to you?

Aaron is exploring th galaxy.

Dingo is aiding in his quest to find inhabitants.

Nemisis is playing with a multi-million dollar starship while risk smashing into Yet an even expensive ship and all Dingo has to say is "Keep going".

You guys seem bored know that. :( (http://www.ezboard.com/intl/aenglish/images/emoticons/frown.gif ):(

Hello?  Is anyone still here?  Great... everyone is either on leave or in the bar.  Well, I guess I can get caught up with my log entries.  Let's see... it was a dark and stormy night when, (something drops to the floor in the shadows.)  Who's there?  Hello?  
(Mons walks over towards the sound.  Turning the corner, he sees someone setting an explosive on the hull of the BozoBaster.  Mons picks up a steel pipe and gets closer)
Hey!  (the figure stands and turns)
So it's you!  You're the one who's been sabotaging us!  We trusted you!!
(Bang, bang bang)
Oh crud...
(Mons falls to the docking bay floor, green fluid spilling from three wounds. The figure runs off.  Mons drags himself towards to bomb and disarms it before his eyes roll back into his head and everything goes black.)

Mons :ESK (http://community.theunderdogs.org/smiley/armed/ar15.gif ):ESK

(Meanwhile the ISS Lasershot is still doing manuveres through this dark and stormy night in the middle of space, when a flaxon poorly placed right beside Nemisis's head goes off, He clicks some buttons and a alert saying a carbine has been discharged on the ISS Bozoblaster.
Hust as Nem prepares to dock and investigate, a docking collar explodes and a  small long range shuttle speeds off)
ISS WANIII this is the WAN IV, am preparing to pursue enemy vessel, pleaase respond on situation aboard ISS Bozoblaster.... Come in WAN III, Bozoblaster... Come in over...
(No one there, A sound of metal being drug across the side of the ship is heard.  Sounds like a Knife.)

*In a small tent, BIC is heading to the WAN III....a small ship streaks past him, taking a quick potshot, but misses...a quick scan detects a bozo inside of it*

"Die Bozo we will conquer you again!!....darn, can not stop and finish you off....We will get you next time"

*The small ship streaks away at high speed...It is being pursued by a large, extreamly fast WAN ship.  Proceeding to the WAN III, opens a hailing channal*

"Attention WAN III.  I have been assigned to be the ambassitor of his Grand excellency Art Bell"  Requesting docking instructions...here are my credencials supplied and authorized by your HQ"

*Beams credencials to the WAN*

Long Live ART BELL

(Continues chasing the shuttle, gaining very little "ground".
The ship speeds past a Bozo battle-tent and picks up the comm message. Nem fires a distortion cannon at the shuttle dampining the engine mechanizims.
Nem begins the boarding process when the knife scratching sound is heard again.
Begins looking in the rear of his ship)

(Mons awakes again but in great pain.  He slowly drags himself to the computer station.  From the comm station, he can hear Nem and BIC trying to hail the WAN III but no one is answering. Mons pulls himself onto the computer stations and hits the Panic Button that transmits an emergency signal to all WAN crew.)

Bad... things are... happening....
(Mons drops to the floor.  He's not breathing.)

Mons :ESK (http://community.theunderdogs.org/smiley/armed/ar15.gif ):ESK

Admiral please do no tlet him dock.The only thing he will do is start revolts and spy. We are not friends with the Bozo's so lets not take the enemy on our ship. If for some way in your mind you decide to let him on keep him on the opposite side of the ship because it will be a bloodbath if we cross paths. I know what we did to the Great Bozania XI.

*Rushing into the hanger bay, Cerberus finds Mons on the floor not breathing....Immediately starting emergency first ade, he is able to restart Mons breathing...Rushing him to sickbay, he immediately stabilizes Mons....

Seeing the Ambassotor Altair1...* I can not speak for the WAN, I am not crew,  I will investigate this matter, for only a Bozo would use a heavy projectile weapon in a space ship...You say you are a Bozo no longer...I say we Do bring in the other Bozo represenitive, and we will get to the bottom of this....Without any more violence...Who ever shot Mons will deal with me, for that individual endangered my life without my permission

*Meteoroid runs by with an assault rifle (ie heavy projectile gun)in his hand heading to secure the main engine room.*
There is only one god way to sabotage this ship with out a bomb. If any one trys it they will have to get past me.

We are not exploring the galaxy. Please refrain from making such untrue statements.

("Ugh! I've been kissed by a dog! I've got dog germs! Get some disinfectant! Get some hot water! Get some iodine! Ugh! Ugh!" -- uh-oh, been watching too many Christmas specials again...)

Security alert! Bozo Alert Black! We are under attack! All hands to battle stations! All hands to battle stations! This is not a drill!

Though not on the active crew roster, I'm available, mon admiral!

Jim

Excellent, old friend! Thank you! Please head for the hangar deck, well armed, and secure the perimeter!

On my way, loaded for cave troll!

Er, make that balrog!

But not balrog, eh?

Report back immediately if you find anything or anyone!

Skyjim to Admiral PLC

Hangar deck secure.  Minor frag damage to bulkheads.  Understand Cerberus took care of Mons.  Is met in main engineering?


Seems we had the same thought on the balrog.....

(Continues searching ship but finds nothing, afterall Nem's ship isn't exactly the Enterprise.
He procceds to board the bozo ship, once aboard he finds it empty and automated, the bozo is still aboard.
He turns to warn the crew when he see's a creature dragging a long blade close the hatch and cause the shuttle to drift away from the WAN IVB with Nemisis aboard.)

Ambassador Skyjim to space dock master!

Get a tractor on that shuttle drifting away from WAN IV!

Berth it in bay 6 and have armed security isolate it!  We have at least one intruder, whereabouts unknown.  I'll take responsibility until we can work this out.  Please also attempt to contact the CO of WAN IV and apprise him of the situation.

Ambassador SJ out

*Still awaiting clearence to dock, and begin his ambassidorial duties.  BIC opens up his tent, and places a bright sign:

"Hurry Hurry Hurry"
"See the greatest falsehoods of science"
"See the the historical documents showing the faking of a moon landing by the inhabitents of the planet Earth...Notice the lack of stars!!!"
"See the factual pictures of the Face located on the planet Mars that the scientist on Earth attempted to coverup...See the perfect features"
"Visit our holy shrine to our great Emporer and Leader Art Bell!!!  Here his voice, and those of his most senior scientists and advisers, As he enlightens the universe to the truths"
"Hurry Hurry Hurry"

*****Very long range Communicated.....(chrackle...sputter...Admiral.....arrived at planet Cat.......safe and sound.....will......com....leave...and.....urne..

HELP!!!! I have been shot. Get me blacknebula or someone. Ouch! the pain !!!!!!

*Wispering*

I think whoever is doing this is trying to kill the pilots.

Hearing the call for help Cerberus rushes out of sickbay, locates Rover, and immediately rushes him to sick bay.  An examination quickly shows the extent of the wounds.

Taking a couple of small bandages out, he covers the wounds, not to gentle like.

Jeez Rover, you are a canine...I know getting shot can hurt, but this is just a flesh wound...Yes the powder burns hurt to...here are a couple of asprin.....WHO Shot You???  Where were you shot at??  I need a location now!!

Mons is still recovering from his wounds, and will be out for a few days.  You are the pilot, other than the admiral.  Doc BN is away on leave and so is that blasted miserable brother of mine Dingo....That idiot went to Catsatopia...he is either highly ticked off about something, or suicidal to go there.  I will not venture there....they are MEAN on that planet.  I did hear that Orstio sent his Imperial Guard unit there for final training, and the few survivors now form his personal bodyguard

(Mons wakes slowly in sick bay.  He can feel numb little tugs inside his body as the surgery droids repair the damage done by the bullets. He looks around the sick bay and sees Rover talking with the Doc.  He tries to speak but only a whisper comes out)

It... it was... Spacegirlie.  She tried to... to... kill me, blow up the WAN, she... I... ahh...

(Mons blacks out thinking, why would she do this?  She was supposed to be our friend, my friend...)

Mons :ESK (http://community.theunderdogs.org/smiley/armed/ar15.gif ):ESK

Catching Mon's whispers....Cerberus sends out an all ships bulletion.

To all crew of the WAN....Spacegirlie is to be apprehended and brought immediately to sickbay for decontamination, and for incarseration...I will bring her before your admiral for investigation

The Chatoiter blinks into the system, and picks up the faint crys of the WAN crew searching for the traitorous crew member who shot Mons and Rover. Now identified to be Spacegirlie, Nerd ponders her situation. She is outnumbered, outskilled, and outgunned. Her only motivation is that of either money, or Bozo Illogic.
"How could a member of the WAN III be affected by Bozo Illogic? It... It just doesn't make sense! Aren't there shields for those kinds of things?
"Cerebus, I'm glad to see you have command of the situation down there. How much am I paying you again? I'll remember this next quarter during raise season.
"Rover, I need you to find a way out to Nemisis and the shuttle that leaped off the WAN. There's something more to this than just Spacegirlie.
"Nem... Nem... NEMISIS! Ugh, if you die, I'll lose... I'll lose... my... best... product! SOG IT! And Termina would be pised at me till the end of the Universe! If you can, relay your location, I'm opening full scanners to search for the shuttle."

The Chatoiter's Blink wings charge up, and split in half down their thickness, if such a thing is possible for such thin sheets. The charged wings blast through space-time, towards the shuttle's last known location.

The borg cube jumps in behind the Chatoiter, fires upon him, and leaves. The Chatoiter lurches, if such a thing is possible in space, and explodes. The billions of pieces fly in a billion directions, scattering the remains of the DTV ship.
Nerd and the ships central AI are launched in separate escape pods.
"AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Our actions are also at SDC.

"Allow me to now iterate that I need some new pants..."

ALOHA!!!!!!!!! I am enjoying my time here. I came here to get away from stress. Lucking for me there is a civil war happening between the Moon colonizationers and the Enviromentalists.I decided that I would fight for the MCs as long as they reserved a firing range.Now I am a mercenary being payed 500,000 credits every week!!!!! I guess they heared about my great sharp shooting.

I hope everything is going ok on the WAN. I hope I am not needed. If I am you will have to fight me or let me have 2 extra leaves for taking this one away.

Anyway PLC made me in charge of the spending this time.It looks like Dingo is runniing up quite a bill. Half of rover's and growing. Let's see.

Hotel room for 2
15 bottles of VERY EXPENSIVE champane
Tux
Prozac (depressed)
Picture of Kay
Dart board
Darts
1 pistol with 1 silver bullet
1 grenade
Suicide pills

Wonder what this is about?

Dang it. Shoulda known. May have to try to go get him.

Then again....on a felinoid planet? An Aves? Hm. Bad mix.

Blackneb, keep me apprised of the situation.

If I should depart suddenly, crew, Ambassador SkyJim and Doc Pete are in charge. And should that happen (and I expect it to), as de Ahnold vould say, "I'll be back."

And as the immortal singing cowboy Gene Autry said, "Happy Holidays, folks, wherever you may be." :) (http://www.ezboard.com/intl/aenglish/images/emoticons/smile.gif ):)

D@#n, looks like you were right, baby. Well, if you wind up having to go fish Dingo outta trouble, I'm right behind you. It's as much my fault as yours.

That Merry Christmas thing comes from me, too, by the way. (I like your choice of cowboys, darlin'.)

#######T..his is.....s.nazee.....r ...eporting............####### We have a ....traitor....aboard......
WANIII......need ...add...itional......b.ack up.......please....hurry..........
my ...coordinates.....should ....come up....on.....the....caller...ID........please alert PLC.......we....are....about
to....b..e......termi..nated..................#########################################

Ambassador Skyjim dashes to a transporter console and enters an emergency diplomatic passcode.  The WAN III sensor array pulls a coordinate set out of Snazee1's weak transmission, locks on, and energizes.

Skyjim mutters "NOBODY messes with my astronomy students!"

Snazee1 materializes, looking beaten up but in one piece.  Skyjim rushes to her side.

"Snazee, hang in there!  Were you alone or was another crewmember with you?"

Admiral, Dingo has gone missing!!!!!
I just recieved the following news reports from Catanopolis:

Catsonopian Daily Planet
Dateline: 12192001
Headline:  Sector celebrity visits planet:
Our planet has been graced today by the arrival of Dingo1 and BlackNebula from the WAN for a visit and vacation on our planet this morning.  Planetary Governor Toothless met today with our distinguished guests, giving them the keys to the planet.  Dingo1 gave a brief speech where he thanked the governor and the local populous for their support in the battles against the Bozo’s and that they were looking forward to there vacation on the planet.

Headline:  Major riot takes place in local dive.
Police again responded to a disturbance at the notorious Dredges bar and grill.  As the local riot squad showed up in normal heavy gear to break up the fight, and cart away the injured and dead, a nightly occurrence in that hell hole, they encountered an unusual situation.  The owner himself, and the rest of the local crowd were piled up outside of the den of sin, having what appears to me massive contusions, broken bones, and sever lacerations, but nobody dead for once.  The perpetrator of the riot, has apparently barricaded itself inside, and has refused to confer with the local police.  All attempts the police have made to enter the establishment have been met with fierce resistance.  Reports from the police commander in charge of the scene, several officers have been sent to the local hospitals for treatment of wounds sustained.  Police have cordoned off the area, and have requested additional officers, including the SWAT team.  With this incident, maybe the government will finally shut down this offensive eyesore to our society.

Dateline: 12202001
Headline:  Standoff continues at Dredges
Police again have made several attempts to arrest the barricaded being inside of Dredges Bar and Grill.  3 attempts so far by officers and SWAT team members were repulsed, with heavy casualties to our local police force.  All efforts to communicate with the being have failed.  When a phone call was placed inside, the phone from Dredges was thrown outside, in pieces.  What is unusual is that there are several sacks of age old debris, and rotten food also being thrown out.  Any attempts to sneak a camera inside has resulted in the camera being destroyed, and the cameraman being sent to the hospital.  According to the Police Commissioner, a call has been placed with the Planetary Guard units for additional help.  When asked by this reporter, if they were going to call in the army, he stated that NO.  There were able to handle the situation.

Headline:  Local visiting dignitary missing.
Our celebrity reporter, Mrs. Nosey, went to go visit our visiting celebraties at their quarters in the El-Cheapo Motel.  The manager of the establishment, reported that they had checked in. BlackNebula was present, but Dingo1's whereabouts are unknown.  His luggage, and special goodies  are present in his room, but it was reported that the maid, who comes one every few days, that it did not look like he has been in the room, as the bags were still sealed.  Mrs. Nosey checked with local stores and shops, and that Commander Dingo has not been seen.  Because we have so few celebrities visit our humble planet, his presence would have been noted.


BN...in Dingo's current state, you wil be needed to stay there near your quarters in case he shows back up, or WAN services are needed.  I have seen him in this mood before, he is very dangerous, and very short tempered, until he works it off
Somebody go retrieve my boss Nerd....I am tied up here, and we seem to be having infighting within factions of the WAN alliance.  Would someone please authorize the landing of the Bozo ambassator...The presence if that circus tent is disturbing the patcience.  I know it would be easier to to just blow it out of space, but his credituals do check out at your fleet HQ, so does have safe passage....All we need, both sides of the Bozo civil war represenitives on board at the same time.  This ship of yours Admiral is full of surprises.

Bring me Spacegirlie, or send someone from medical down here and I will retrieve her

The.....intruder......is...........BIC................he.......infected.........spacegirlie................................Mons
.......is..........looking.........strange.............i.......hope............those............bullets..................weren't.
.......loaded..........with.....bozotis.....



..........SNAZEE!!!!!!!!!!!!   She's..........shot..........help!

Rover, I know you are recovering....question...how can the intruder be BIC, if when this started happening, he was in documented transport mode?? Unless she was infected during the war, and was a sleeper agent??  Or is it possible that it was the work of Ambassator Altair????  He is from the ex-bozo forces...Is it possible they are using logic as a smoke screen????  It is difficult to know because of the makeup.

(Tries opening portal, but nothing happens.
WAN security team prepears to board the shuttle.
Nemisis tries the comm equipment but it's been jammed, notices something strange with his reflection, he looks like the bozo with the knife.
Nemisis messes with the ship scanner and see's he's giving off a bozo signature.

The WAN IVB dissaperes via sub-space warp)

NASA is evil, we never landed on the moon, the face on Mars is a relic of an ancient civilization, UFOs are landing in my front yard on a daily basis, I think nuclear power is a good idea to lift heavy loads into space, bring down the ISS...

Oh crud... I don't feel very good.  What did those bullets have on them and why am I growing blue hair and why is my nose turning red?  I look like a ... a....  OH NO!  I look like a CLOWN!!  HELP!!!!

Mons :ESK (http://community.theunderdogs.org/smiley/armed/ar15.gif ):ESK

*Observing the situation on the WAN with some amusement*  Wow bozoritus works fast, I will have to inform our gracious emporer Art Bell.  Hmmmmsomethings seems wrong.........Red nose, white face, bright clothing, things seem correct....wait a minute...the hair is wrong....it is BLUE....the sign of our enemy, the Ex-bozo's...The true Bozo has RED hair.....

*Sending out a class A signal to homeworld.......Ex-Bozo attack on the WAN...trying to blame us for the trouble....warm up the Dyson sphere's, and the super War Tents...begin boarder patrols.  If those idiots are causing problems here, they must be causing problems at home....Continue progress towards Operation Twiddy Bird.  Maybe one of these days they will let us land.  We need those material and supplies to complete our new homeworld....we are generating some income with our museum of science here, also potentual recruites....Is our wonderful and most knowledgeable leader going to allow us to use nanobots???*

I can't believe this is happening to me!  Why are they always trying to turn me into a bozo?  Why!?  What the heck did I do?  It must be because the whole government is involved in one giant conspiracy and the NASA is at the heart of it!  Oh crap, there I go again!  

Mons :ESK (http://community.theunderdogs.org/smiley/armed/ar15.gif ):ESK

*Walks out of office*

What the @#$%! What is going on.

*Someone accuses me of doing this*

No it can't be me I am from Arturian decent. The Arcturian color is gold as a matter of fact. Even blacknebula gave me a check. He said I was fine.

WAIT.... I know who is doing this. BIC is! He is not on the ship he is on our ship! He might have beamed himself aboard trying to kill me becuase I am there enemy's. There is only one person in the ship that is sending those transmissions. It  is Art Bell.

Arcturian's are imune to bozotis. There is your Bozo logic!

*walks into office*

*looks at window*

Umm... Arcturian ambassador to bridge! How in the he#$ did the Bozo's build that ship out there.Is there something I should know?

Jimmany Christmas,   this is insane...We have a Red headed Bozo ambassator, A gold headed Altair (former Bozo)....WAN crew members with bozotitus, hair turning Blue....there can not be a third Bozo faction...could there...thinking long and hard, rereading the news reports from the WAN history....no it can't be,  It would be illogical...wait a minute...illogic is the Bozo trade mark......both ambassators accusing each other...Spacegirlie infected, Mons infected (administering anti bozotitus agent)....
Conclusion.....third Bozo force probible, someone who wants to control both sides.....

ALL WAN hands.....Super alert we have been infiltrated by Bozo Borg forces...only logical conclusion


Altair, that is one of their small emisary tests...I know it is an eye sore, but you should see some of their Big tents....Those bozo's even built Dyson spheres without a means to bleed off radiation.

BN, I know Dingo is missing somewhere on that planet, but how soon can you return here...I am not a doctor, I just know enough to keep my clients alive after I collect them

I think maybe we got twin problems. P -- or Payloadcontroller, you call her -- has gone missing on me. I think maybe she knows what's wrong with your brother, and has gone to see about him. D@#n, relationships are never simple if you're MiB. Tell Blacknebula to snag her for me and bring her back if he sees her, whether she likes it or not. I'll handle his defense if she brings him up on insubordination.

I think you're right about the BozoBorg. I'll call Zed and see if the twins can work out an antidote. The Centaurians have encountered them before, so the twins oughta know something.

Nerd drifts slowly in his escape pod towards the WAN. Estimated time of arrival, approx one week. He pushes his brain jack into the outlet of the pod.
"I'm going to be download the contents of the WAN library, and any sources I can find on Matt, Termina, and Schvundza, and especially the Chasi. It should take up most of my course time. Don't try to speed me up, this is very important work, and I know I won't be able to do it if I'm still in command of a ship."

.......Jim....is....that......you???.....I ....H.ave....be..en....shot........Please.......sen...d ......h.e.l.p............
I.thi.nk...my...other.....spy...team......g.ot.....out.....be.f.ore.....the.....sh.oot.ing....can't....be..sure.......
...............the......WAN......is...in...grave....danger......imposter....on...board........check.all persons..aboard..for...ID.......bands.....look.....behind.....left.....hearing......recetor...on...all.....things,
human or not.........I'm    loosing          trans......mission................................................................................................................
...................................please......hurry......

We have been unable to post replies to this site for a few days.

Where did the new Bozo-Borg threat come from, is it over, and, if not, what can we do to help?

Also, Nemisis has stood down at SDC. (He hasn't replied in 3 days, so we consider it that he has withdrawn.)

(A great disturbance is felt as the Bozo super-crusier appears, the WAN IVB being the power center of it.
Vid-screen activates, Nemisis2 appears but he has streaks of blue in his hair and a red nose)
Attention WAN crew members, you are all under arrest by Grand master Nemesis2 for crimes against illogic, surrender now and your deaths will be swift, resist and you'll have h*ll to pay.

(Fires tractor beam on Nerds capsule and begins towing him toward a bozo-a-matic bay)

We have one of your crew members now, you will hand over  the pod you recently captured or we will kill this creature.

(Hearing the commotion outside, Nemisis see's he's being quarantined as the armed guards rush out of the room to some where else.
Suddenly Nemisis hears the Ultimatum given by the Fake Nemisis and bows his head, how's he gonna get out of this one?)

A borg cube painted with red and white stripes uncloaks in front of the WAN fleet.  The view-screen opens to black.  Then a spotlight appears, and a dark figure stands in the center of the light.  The camera zooms in on the figure, wearing a top hot, long black coat with tails, and carrying a black cane.  He has had some borg modification:  his left eye replaced by a borg implant, a red light bulb where his nose used to be, and a bicycle horn attached to his right hand.  He speaks:

[table style="filter: glow; font: bold; font-size: 16pt; font-family: 'venus rising'; ]
[font face="Venus Rising" color="#ff0000]
[td]
We are SCHVUNDZA of the Bozo-Borg!  Come one, Come all, to the Greatest Assimilation in the Galaxy!
Now, Direct your Attention to the Center Ring, where you will be Shocked, Amazed, and Assimilated!  
Step Right Up!  Resistance is Futile!  

[/font]
[/td]
[/table]

This is not good. What should we do?

Aaron of Borg, the Borg help is needed.  We have a bad situation.... We have a Bozo borg agent on board the WAN who has been shooting WAN officers...This has disrupted the chain of command.

We have a couple of key officers infected by Borg Bozotitus.

I have locked down the WAN in a logic cocoon...At least this will stop any Bozo-borg forces from penitrating into the WAN III, but we are unable to fight back...

The SCHVUNDZA Bozo Emporer has sent an untimatem...We are unable to respond.  The people we need are the Admiral, who is currently in search for my missing brother Dingo (here is the latest news on that)
Catsitopian Daily Planet

Dateline: 12212001
Headline: Standoff in 3rd Day
Police and Planetary guard units are continually perplexed by the stand off at Dredges Bar and Grill.  All attempts to enter and arrest the perpetrator have resulted in major injuries to officers and troops.  The governor today has declared martial law in the area surrounding Dredges.  So far 40 large bags of trash have been thrown out of the bar.  Attempts to cut holes into the bar ended up in a surprise.  It is apparent that the establishment itself is made of neutrinum.  The hardest, most costly substance known to us.  Anything short of a planetary bombardment weapon would not crack that shell.
Today the governor himself has decided to call in the army.

Headline:  Dignitary still missing.
Today the police have issued a missing person’s report on Commander Dingo.  It has been feared that he might have been kidnapped, yet there has not been a ransom demand for his return.  All citizens are asked to keep an eye out for him, and to report his presence to authorities.  Description as follows:  He is a dog.  About 1 meter in height, and about 75 kg.  He is a member of the Sirus planetary system.

Headline:  Arrest of Killthemiftheycomplain pending.  The owner of the Dredge Bar and Grill is to be arrested and prosecuted as soon as he regains the ability to speak or write from his injuries, for the crime of instigating a riot.  This is the 200th time for him being arrested for the same crime, and this reporter will be happy if they can make the charges stick for once.

Headline:  Arrival of Fleet Admiral Payloadcontroller
Today above our planet, WAN fleet units arrived to help in the search for yheir missing officer.  Governor Toothless in a press statement informed us that the WAN unit above our planet will be conducting scanning sweeps of our planet in hopes of finding Commander Dingo.  The WAN effort is to be lead by no other than Admiral PLC.  When asked if she would be landing, the govenor was informed that WAN efforts were best done from space itself, and that due to situations elsewhere, they will not be able to land at this point.  We thank the WAN for their assistance, though personally this reporter would have loved to have Admiral PLC land...she looks so delectable.

Dateline:12222001
Headline:  Standoff in 4th day
Today Army units arrived to take over the situation.  After their briefing, units of the Red Berets attempted to storm Dredges.  They were decimated, and every member  of that unit is now residing in the Army hospital.  They reported that the interior of the Dredge Bar and Grill is pitch black and all night vision glasses were almost useless.  They reported that something very fast struck back, and their vision just saw a heat blur moving.  They also reported that they smelled good food inside (a rarity).  The commander of the unit made a statement that they are going to need the elite unit, the Cat’s brigade to handle this situation.  This reporter shudders at the thought that the all female cat unit is being called into action, as this reporter remembers being present when that unit shredded (literally) the Bozo forces on their attempt to take this planet .

Headline:  Planetary search for missing dignitary started.
Today, the search and rescue units have started a planet wide detailed search for the missing dignitary Commander Dingo.  As there has not been any ships departing our planet sense his arrival, they are confident that he is still on the planet.

Headline:  WAN sweep in progress.
The WAN ships continued there systematic sweeping of the planet in hopes of finding their missing commander.  They have reported that their search sofar has not been sucessful.

Headline:  WAN III has been attacked.  A brief statement from Emporer Ostrio's office, the WAN III has been attacked by an unknown number of Bozo forces.  It looks like the Bozo Wars have heated back up.  Our paper thereful ask the citizens of our planet to once again submit their recipies for another cooking contest...How to serve Bozo.  The winner will be given the oppertunity to share their recipy in the annual Goverment Ball...Last War's winner...Professor SliceandDice from the cultinary acadamy, us not elegable for this War's contest, but will be our judge instead.  He is using his winning recipy "Sliced Bozo al la Orange" as his base in judging

Aaron of Borg...They have captured our boss Nerd...Apparently attempting to extract the location of Laugi, and Termine.  Can you help with locating Dingo, and with distracting the Boxo Borg.  I am going to ask the Altairian ambassator for assistance, and the Ambassator from Art Bell...BIC for assistance (this must be bad, asking the Bozo's for help)

Fine we will help...We will want preferencial pricing for our needed supplies, as well as a lifting of all trade barriers.

Commencing operation Twiddy Bird.....

"Massive Dyson spheres appear around the Bozo Borg cubes...open fire, smashing all of the Bozo borg defenses...then disappear

Hunderds of massive Battle tents appear..showwering the Bozo Borg is large streams of Bozotitus spores...The Bozo Borg ring master starts undergoing a medimorphis.....his clothing changes...to a diaper.....his hair changes color from Blue to green, his intellegence factors go down to 4....He has become...a Baby Bozo clown....The Massive Battle tents disappear"


That stops him, now will you release the supplies we ordered...We want a kick back on the price!!!


LONG LIVE ART BELL

We are bozo borg. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile.

HAIL SCHVUNDZA !!!!
HAIL SCHVUNDZA !!!!
HAIL SCHVUNDZA !!!!

We are now removed from my petty human ways and we am now pure. My good friends Mons and Snazee will assist in assimilating the WAN III crew. While doing that our agent aboard the WAN will spread the Borg Bozotis virus.

SURRENDER!!!!!!!!!! NOW!!!!!!!!!

Mons: We will take the bridge

Snazee: Take the officers quarters

*Picks up news paper*

Headline: WAN Weapons Officer Kidnapped
After 4 days of searching for WAN III weapons officer Dingo, the search has lead nowhere. All the police have is his bill. The police chief says,"I have no clue who would take him in that mood".

Headline: MO's Win
The Moon Colonizers won today in a stunning victory. Mercenary Blacknebula says that it was one of the best firefights he has seen in his life. He says that hetook out 587 enviromentalists. The victory parade will be held tomorrow with the execution of POWs.

Headline: WAN III top Officers are now Bozo Borg
Many of the WAN IIIs top officer's are now Bozo Borg. The Arcturians and Borg's are sending ships in to help the WAN III. The bridge is expected to be taken in a day. PLC has armed the escape pods incase of an emergency.

Headline: Police know where WAN III Officer Dingo is
The police have reported that dingo was picked up by Bozo Borg forces 10 days ago.They speculate that he has been assimilated into the Bozo Borg. If so he would be the highest WAN officer to be assimilated. There is no connection with the WAN III, Bozo Borg intruder yet, but police say that is a possibility. The police have closed the case saying that he is now part of the Bozo Borg and since he is a citizen they cannot investigate further.


Woooo! I am glad I am not over there. I still have 2 more days on this leave. Aloha!

(remote message left on BN's console)  I am alive, and not kidnapped....I am working my way back, have things to take care of...As for the Bozo Borg attempting to take over my WAN...let them, and when the WAN itself counteracts them, the were warned....what nobody seems to understand...the WAN is not just a ship, but an alive being...I will be back in a few days, when I have completed what I set out to do....then we will deal with the WAN situation...Continue the search in you want, I will be found when I want to be found

Nerd sits in the chair of the pod as it is drawn farther away from the WAN and towards the past location of the Bozo Borg Cubes. His deep meditation during the download of the information is is totally undisturbed by the change in direction.

0101010101011110101110000101001010010011001
[Ooohm. Oooohm. Ooohm.... The puzzle... falls together.]
0011101001010000100100100010000010101010001

*Noticing a strange blue glow imminating from everything on the ship, the glow brightens to the point the whole ship is glowing blue....Bright glowing surrounds all members of the ship...a silver beam seems to appear at random....zapping invisible particals throughout the ship...The silver beam spends time on all injured crew members...the effects of bozotitus reverse themselves...an attempt to access the computer is rebuffed and locked out*

Admiral...something strange is happening abourd your ship!!!!

*A message appears on the screen......"THIS IS THE WAN....I WILL NEVER ALLOW BOZONESS TO EVER CONTROL ME....ALL OF THE CREW IS NOW CURED OF BOZONITUS....ALL CONTAINERS SMUGGLED INSIDE ME CONTAINING BOZOTITUS HAVE BEEN NEUTRALIZED....THE BOZO ENTITY WHO HAVE BEEN HURTING THOSE i ALLOW INSIDE OF ME HAVE BEEN CURED OF BOZOTITUS....THIS IS A SHIP OF LOGIC....I AM LOGIC....I WILL NEVER SURRENDER TO ILLOGIC*

Oh s&^t she has awaken

#Teleporting the whole ship, I stop beside Nerd57, and tractor him aboard....Teleporting again beside the WAN IV...I capture the vessal and place her inside my hangerbay, and start the decontamination process.....Using my teleportation capibilities, I capture all of my bozo infected crew*  I teleport myself just outside of the Bozo Borg ship....I will not surrender myself, not my crew, you will either leave this sector immediately, or I will capture you and de-bozofy you#

#I am the sleeping giantess you have badly mistaken and awaken...I am your worst nightmare...a being of pure and holy logic#

Ambassador Skyjim strolls onto the bridge of WAN III.  He speaks, as if to another person, but the bridge is deserted. He leans on a small com console with one hand.

“Hello WAN, my friend.  Voice and DNA identification requested”

The ship responds!

“Preliminary identification confirmed.  WAN command staff member Skyjim, current assignment, roving logic dissemination.  Current rank, Ambassador.
Input command code sequence to complete identification”

Skyjim quickly inputs a series of mathematical proofs in a specified sequence, finishing with Feynman’s geometric proof of Kepler’s law of ellipses.  There is a brief pause, and then the ship speaks again.  Now the voice has become less imposing, more closely resembling a human female.

“Welcome aboard, skipper!”

Skyjim chuckles.  â€œThank you, my dear.   But I’m off on diplomatic duty now, as well you know.  I do appreciate the honorific, though.  I hope the human tradition of assigning the female gender to ships hasn’t bothered you unduly.  As I explained during the subroutine write-up, it is helpful when dealing with humans for you to be able to accept these forms of address.  I know it helps this human in communicating with you!”

“No sweat, boss!”

“Again, I thank you, but we both know who the boss is here.  Maybe I shouldn’t have used so many of my own colloquialisms when I described the speech pattern I preferred. “

“Perhaps not, Mr. Ambassador.  But logic does not negate the need for diversion, and I find these conversations enjoyable.  Shall we proceed?”  

“By all means.  You know the situation.  We’ve had to have you reveal your sentience to reverse the local bozoflux increases.  Let’s clean this mess up and restore sanity to our sector.  I believe we should refrain from overt offensive operations for the time being, since much of the command echelon is on holiday leave and away missions.  The various bozo factions can’t really affect you, but there have been some unfortunate infections of crew.  A local B/F reversal seems to be in order, and I‘d like your input on radius.  Oh, and before proceeding, I wanted to let you know that I’ve been enjoying your “Old Testament” voice as used on the bozos – very imposing and effective!”

“Mr. Ambassador, I’ve already got Snazee1 and Mons decontaminating.  They should be free to communicate normally within the hour – although they may need some rest.  The bozoborg conversions are very primitive by my standards.  All other captured and altered crew members were successfully teleported to decon earlier.  If we just need to perform a local defensive B/F reversal, a logic pulse to a radius of one kiloparsec ought to suffice until we hold our next staff meeting.”

“WAN, I agree.  Input command codes when ready.  I am providing the second command echelon approval at my console.  Passcode entered and action approval logged as contingency B/F reversal, this date.  Radius one kiloparsec”

“I copy and concur, Mr. Ambassador.  My codes are input.  Reversal pulse in thirty seconds if no change in codes.  And thank you for the compliment on the voice.“
 
“You’re quite welcome, friend.”

A brief burst of visible light accompanies the launch of the logic pulse from the WAN III.  Instantaneously, a bubble of space 2 kiloparsecs across is flooded with pure logical thought.  Sentient beings find themselves reciting Latin passages from  Philosophiae Naturalis Principia Mathematica for a fleeting instant, and then all is quiet, and everything is brilliantly clear.  

“Thank you, WAN!  In the words of a favorite writer of mine, I prefer a cleaner sky.”

“A pleasure, Mr. Ambassador.”  

Skyjim walks off the bridge.

I will not take over the bridge!  I am strong, I will not be turned into the most vile creature in the universe!  You will not have me!

(Mons breaks out of sick bay and takes a transport to the hanger bay.  He enters the BozoBlaster II and starts the on-line systems.  Also, interfaces with the WAN III computer and puts her in to RED ALERT, battle stations.  As the BozoBlaster leaves the hanger with 120 single seat fighters already leaving it's fighter bay, the massive guns on the WAN III start to train on the attacking forces.

Attention WAN Fleet, we need all the ships and personnel you  can summon, and we need them now!

(Quickly, Mons checks the mirror and sees that he's back to his green, scaly self again!)

Thank GOD!  Another minute of spouting that crap and I would have sent myself out an airlock!

Mons :ESK (http://community.theunderdogs.org/smiley/armed/ar15.gif ):ESK

You are inperfection at its best.We will make you perfect. We are perfection. We don't need you to take the bridge.It is already been taken thanks to the other WAN officers that are grateful.The WAN III is alive so it can die.It will die.We will destroy inperfection.

Borg out...

We might as well tell you who the intruder on this ship who started this all is. It is 5 of 13 or MIB Agent Kay.We assimilated him aboard your ship then left because you would detect us. 5 of 13 is still a little inperfect so you couldn't detect him.

Master SCHVUNDZA you may have the admiral's chair.

The WAN III lifeform is dead. All life support systems are off. Limited 02 left. All crew members are in flight bay 3. We will go down and ask them what they prefer. Assimilation or death. Aaronofborg is in the brig and will live because he is already perfect. We may make him more perfect.

Well... this isn't good.  Okay so we need a plan.  Ya know, I thought this crew was huge!  Where in Havlans name is everyone?

I'm keeping the pressure on the Borg cube, all systems and weapons at 103%.  Hey, I've got it!

(Mons pulls the BozoBlaster along side the WAN III.  Using a modified transporter beam, he brings the crew of the WAN III, including AOB that was in the Brig, over into a storage bay aboard the BozoBlaster.)

Wow, I'm smarter than I look!

Okay crew, we know some of our crew are under their control but we need to find the source of their influence.  I know they're Borg but if they have Bozo elements in them, we know there has to be a ring leader.  We find him, we can shut them all down!  Any ideas?

Mons :ESK (http://community.theunderdogs.org/smiley/armed/ar15.gif ):ESK

(Comm screen activates Bozo-Nem appears)
I don't think you understand puny WAN.
I have the Supercrusier and the WAN IVB surrender the newly captured shuttle or i will be forced to destroy you.

(Fires an energy bolt causing a magnetic flux to wrek havoc with the ship computers)

I don't think i need to say more.

(Tries comm again and finds it now works, tries to send a message to the crew)
Help, i've been masquered by a bozo.
Im still stuck in this shuttle, whatever you do don't give him this ship!

(This post is missing and can not be restored)

(This post is missing and can not be restored)

(This post is missing and can not be restored)

(This post is missing and can not be restored)

Blink Blink Blink

We have missed something...Since when is Rover a Borg, since when are we in the brig, and how did the Bozo-Borg get everywhere all of a sudden???

Keeping up with events here is becoming more difficult by the day...

There was no bomb. I sent you collision coarse. You are destroyed.

We were on one of the cubes. I have access to the WAN III auto - pilot controls. I was not sitting in any chair.

It seems that the WAN III has a crew of bozo's. You believe that your ship is alive. Silly silly silly. To believe your ship is alive is a sign of Bozoness.

You think that ambassador BIC is on your side. PLEASE!!!!!!!! Even you should know that the bozo cause is to destroy the WAN III. They have been helping us.They have been giving you cheap shot's while your sensor's were off.

Why am I talking to a piece of trash that is know in trillions of pieces? Oh yes, I am Bozo Borg. We don't care if you all die.We care about sending the WAN III up in pieces. We have done so. It looks like you all have 1 big rescue ship left. Use it well. Pick up the most valuble people and leave the rest in their space suit's to die. If so maybe you are not all bozo's aye CerWan III.

It does not matter. We are leaving this sector, most probably forever. (Read SDC thread)

Borg out...

*stop's ship where the WAN III was supposed to be*

Uh what happened here?

*See's officer's floating around in space suit's*

*grabs gun*

Ok if anyone comes in here without my permission I will blow their heads off. I can only hold 11 more people.

Ok here is the list for people that can come in.

PLC
Dingo
Pete - with cargo please
AOB
rover - if he comes back
nem
Kay - if he comes back
Lounge inhabitants - since they don't take much room
Snazee
Mons
Wanda

I may be able to squeeze one more person in. Let the auction begin!

From:   WAN Fleet HQ
To:      Cerberus, galatic bounty hunter

Subj:   Rover

1.  Ex-WAN crew member Rover is hearby charge with Treason, Sabatoge, Attempted genicide of a species.

2. We hearby direct you to capture, dead or alive Ex-crewman Rover to stand trial for his crimes against galatic law.

3. Bounty for Ex-crewman Rover is placed at 25,000,000,000 credits.  Use extream causion as every other galatic bounty hunter is being given the same deal. As well as any citizen of WAN space.  Ex-crewman Rover is hearby stripped of his citizenship

4. You are exempt from any violation of law in your quest to apprehend Ex-crewman Rover

Dateline: 12232001
Headline:  Standoff enters 5th day
Capt WandaT and her unit of elite troops arrived today to resolve the situation.  As the brigade assaulted the Bar, they were stopped cold at the door.  As bodies of the injured stacked up, Capt WandaT looked on in horror.  From the expression of her face, she had never seen her unit handled with such dispatch.  As the last member of her unit was thrown out of the door,  Capt WandaT has ordered that no other attempts will be made for entry into the building until she returned.  She then proceeded to take her wounded to the army hospital.  The current situation stands at an impasse for the time being.

Headline:  Dignitary still missing.
The search for the missing dignitary Commander Dingo still continues.  Search and rescue, as well as the investigative units on the planet, have so far reported that no sign of our wayward dignitary has been found.  So far during the search, there have been several arrests of smugglers discovered in the great desert.  The search continues.

Dateline: 12242001
Headline:  Capt WandaT to end standoff.
Capt WandaT in full heavy battle gear decided to attempt to end the standoff in Dredge’s Bar and Grill.  She had decided to enter the fray alone, stating that with the narrowness of the entryway, forces trying to take the Bar were interfering with each other, and were sitting ducks as a result.  With grim determination, she entered the battle-zone.  Sounds of a major confrontation could be heard emanating from the interior of the BAR.  The battle has so far lasted several hours, and attempts by other’s entering the Bar, when things seemed to have quieted down, have resulted with additional injuries to the forces guarding the area, and the noise of combat, renewed.  It is in this reporters’ opinion that it looks like both Capt WandaT, and the perpetrator in the Bar are evenly matched.  We are dramatically awaiting the out-come of the battle.

Headline:  Search for missing dignitary enters 5th day.
The search for Commander Ding has entered the 5th day since his reported disappearance.  2/3rds of the planet have so far been searched, by air, sea and ground search personnel.  There have been reported sightings of Commander Dingo, but from what has been reported, all leads were cases of either mistaken identity, or of erroneous reports.  The search will continue tomorrow, but hopes for finding him alive seem to be dropping.

Headline:  The standoff is ending.
This morning a dramatic turn of events seem to be happening inside the Dredge Bar and Grill.  Things turned quiet late last night.  Early this morning, Capt WandaT came outside of the bar, and requested that the base Chaplin be brought in.  From the look of her uniform, it is apparent in this reporter’s eyes, that the battle inside must have been very fierce indeed.  Capt WandaT, had several lacerations, but has refused medical treatment.
The base Chapin Lt Battleax arrived, and he and Capt WandaT reentered the bar.
After several hours, Capt WandaT, and the base Chaplin exited the bar.  Capt WandaT warned all present not to enter, until she returned.  At the filing of this story, she has not returned to the bar.  And the local field commander is getting impatient, but is following orders.

Headline:  Missing dignitary found.
In a dramatic move this afternoon, Commander Dingo, came limping into town.  He was very badly bruised, and had several deep lacerations, but otherwise said he was ok.  When authorities asked where he had been, he gave the following statement.  â€œ I had decided to go visit my old friend  Killthemiftheycomplain at the Dredge Bar and grill, but when I arrived there, a huge fight was taking place.  I decided it was not a good time to enter, so decided on the spot to take an overnight hike into the nearby canyons.  I had misjudged a spot and slipped into the canyon.  I spent the next few days working my way out of the canyon.  I did notice search parties working the area, but did not know they were looking for me.  My apologies to the government for their concern.  I would like to extend my vacation, and visit more of the planet, and visit my friend, but the lateness of the hour, requires me to up-ship and return to my duties.  I thank the governor, and the people here for their hospitality.  Commander Dingo then stopped and picked up his luggage and headed back to his skiff, with the assistance of a local porter.  We wish him the best of luck, and look forward when he can come visit our planet again.

Headline:  Capt WandaT AWOL, and wanted by local authorities.
In a dramatic event, the local field commander’s impatience got the better of him, and he decided to end this crisis.  He entered the bar, and a few minutes later came rushing out, and immediately called the governor on the radio.  We were close enough to catch some of his words, as he requested that Capt WandaT immediately be arrested.  He then directed some of his officers to enter the bar, and we followed.  We found that the Dredge Bar and Grill was sparkling clean.  It was a dramatic shock to see how neat and tidy everything was, like it was a 5 star restaurant clean. The worst dive on the planet clean!!!
We also spotted somebody tied up.  It is Lt. BattleAx.  In a quick statement to this reporter, he stated that as soon as he entered, he was blindfolded, and then forced to perform a marriage ceremony, for Capt WandaT, and an unknown person.  He was then stripped of his raiment’s, and had been gagged and tied up for several hours.

Calling Rescue vehical...Calling rescue vehical...I have room on my ship for 20...I go on leave and this happens

(My sweetheart, shall we join my brother in this hunt...I know you love to slice ad dice Bozo's)

*Yes dear...meow*

(Being released, Nemisis opens a portal and dissaperes.
Outside a portal opens and out flies a triangle ship equiped with an experimental shield negating techa.
The ship speeds toward the Bozo supercrusier pushing against the WAN IVBSs' shielding blowing apart the triangles point, but it still pushes toward the WAN IVB, finally a hole appears in the shields and Nem jumps from the hole in the ship through the hole and begins heading toward the WAN IVBs' hull)

WAN III Robotcq21 will take my place, gotta take my ship back.

(Another portal opens and the ISS STREAK appears with a battion of Minion carriers who begin taking up positions as ordered by WAN III)

"Through the hill, under the dale,
"Dancing in the stream, through the sunliit gleam,
"Of the shadow the sword, of the fire the beast,
"Of the fire its shadow, of the sword its beast,
"Time during the morning, space at the dusk,
"And music plays upon the ears of the evil,
"and the good have none to hear,
"The good shall become the evil,
"And the evil shall live in fear."
 -Nerd57, "Poetry of the Mind"

"Holes in my shirts and pantS
"Leaves through my skiN
"To the questions you ask, I say nO
"There is but one way to kill a large soW
"To slice and kill and roast over the spit and slaM
"The fresh meat upon a plate and stab it with A
"Fork, and bite in it and test the heat and be hungry never again."
 -Nerd57, "Dakrla Truflea"

We are bozo borg. All survivor's of the WAN III destruction will be assimilated. Resistance is........is................fu.......fu............

*collapses from fighting the bozo borg*

Former WAN III this is rover.... I am trying my best to fight the bozo borg but the implants are overpowering my mind. When you are assimilated your mind remains but is little compared to the entire body

No! I am bozo borg. Must return to recharge.

Help me WAN crew! I don't know how much longer I will live inside this machine.

Shutup! Must resist mind.

It was not me who destroyed your ship! It was this robot that came on me when I was shot. If the machine is still a threat forget me and kill me...the machine and mind. It is more important that me. I will try to resist but may go out soon. Again Help!!!

I will make sure me inperfect mind goes away soon so I will be 100% perfect.

If you save me somehow there is something...............................

Yes dear....You want us to do WHAT!!!!!

But sweetheart...we are in a small ship...

Yes dear, but sweetheart, I do not have any of my major weapons abourd your ship.....But dear...sweetheart

Ok sweetheart we will do it.


*Dingo and WandaT (no releation to Wanda the Panda) dive in right behind Nemisis and land on the WAN IV.  2 blurs emerge, one a dog, one a cat with 6 inch titanium razer sharp claws....They slice and dice their way to where Rover is being held...killing Bozo Borgs as quickly as they get in the way.  In a smash and grap, they drag poor Rover back to WandaT's little ship....and at unheard of speed they blast their way back free of the Bozo Borg cube to the assembly point.

Nemisis, it is all yours.....execute self destruct codes on the WAN IV

Thank you Dingo. I am alive for once. I am sorry about the WAN III and WAN IV.

Before the transmission was cut I said there was something. It is time for you to know. Back when I joined this crew I said there was a secret operation in place back on Earth. I ran that operation. I said I would show you someday. Now it is time I show you it.

Let's set a coarse for Earth. Let's go see my creation.

The WAN V!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Seeing Dingo and WandaT fighting off the Bozo-Borg, Nem opens a portal and pulls out a gold and silver longsword.
Nem fights his way to the main control room where he activates the self-destruct sequence. Out side RobotCQ21 and the fighter groups start blasting on a targeted area on the on the ship blowing a hole in it, the ISS Streak Docks, Nem, Dingo and WandaT get aboard just aas the WAN IVB begins to decompress and explode. Nem slumps in the pilot seat with his arms crossed)
Stupid bozo's, i was starting to like that ship too.

(Asks Dingo where to)

Nemisis, head for Earth, back to WAN HQ...We have to rebuild the whole fleet

Hey out there!  Someone wanna pick me up?  I'm floating around here, holding on to my pilots seat with nothing else!  And umm.. it's a little cold out here and well...umm..  I've got shrinkage going on!  I hate it when this happens!

Mons 8) (http://www.data-techniques.net/cwm/otn/ez/ezpi_cooldude.gif )8)

Lets stop and pick up Mons....Keep an eye out for my brother Cerberus

Do not bother with our seat. We have left the area already.

*See update at SDC*

*End transmission...*