WEAPONS TESTING LAB ***** WARNING ******

[dingo15068]

Welcome to the Weapons testing Lab.  This thread is dedicated to visual observations of weapons currently in use and production on the WAN III  Please provide your favorate links to spy cams of testing of devices, use of devices that our illustrious crew have subjected their digestive systems to the deployment of anti bozo devices

[Peter]

I am thinking of getting the Bozos drunk by offering them beer named after the president of the USA!

(Don't have any storage location... Ixus canon 2,11 megapixel results in 1,2 Mb!)

Peter

[Mons]

Okay! I fianlly made it here!  This ship is way too big!  What have we got here... hmm..  HEY!  What does this button do if I...

BOOM!

oh crud...:eek :eek

[Mons]

So...  now that I've made a mess of the place, what's new?  Anything new that needs to be tested?  I've been spending too much time at Pete's and I need a mission!

Mons

[dingo15068]

My pleasure Capt.

Mons...your assignment...we need a new weapons launching device....The Skunks works are currently behind delivery of our launching devices.....Seems like they had an escape there, and it kind of stank up the place.
Also need testing on new weapon called.....Quazar's extream....please test in the far reaches of Bozo land and see if it is an effective device, or if we need to furthur develop it.

Do not worry about the mess you made with pushing that button.....we have plenty of plaided dressed photographers we can use to clean up the messes before we feed them to Yale

[Mons]

I'll be on my way as soon as the ship is loaded.  By the way, anyone seen Spacegirlie?  We could send her out as well to test different variations, at the same time!

Hey, why is the plaid dressed photographer missing an arm?  Has Yale been out for midnight snacks again?

Mons  

[spacegirlie]

Oh yeah...I know what you guys have in mind.  You want me to fly out there and then you're gonna use me for target practice.  Test your new weapons on me huh?  Well, let me run to Pete's place and pick up another bottle of Crown.  Actually, I'll pick up two.  One for me and one for mons and dingo.  Maybe if I get them toasted, their aim will be off.  I think it's worth a shot. I knew this was going to be a dangerous mission.

Well....in case it doesn't work.....fairwell my friends, it has been a pleasure.  If I don't return...will someone tell OV that he can have my jetski.

SG

[Mons]

To: Captain PLC; Weapons Officer Dingo; Crew, WAN III
From: Mons, Senior Test Pilot
RE: New launching tubes & High Yield Rito Missiles

Test; Launching Tubes

Test started at 2300 hours; sector 23.09 X 18.82 X 485.00.  New tubes found to be flawed in manufacture, not design.  Plans called for smooth interior surface.  Tubes selected for test were found to have very small grooves inside which caused rito to spin out of control once leaving tube.  As a result, near by moon, Asha was split in 27 different sections.  Due to close proximity of moon, there was no detonation of rito upon impact.  Rito was recovered 12,000 kilometers beyond the moon with serious damage to front section.  Rito was dismantled and consumed. (My complements to the chief!)

Test; High Yield Rito

Test started at 0200 hours; sector 48.99 X 234.22 X 486.76.  Ritos were timed to detonate at a distance of 73 light years from launch point.  Long range scan shows a massive black hole was created due to detonation.  Large amounts of dark matter now exists in test area.  Upon closer inspection, an object was detected in the center of the black hole.  It seems to be a transport ship of some kind.  

Test Pilot log: 0235 hours,  I have tried to hail the transport ship but there has been no reply.  Long range scans are now showing the outline of the ship.  Oh god, it's in the shape of a huge circus tent. Hold on, 4 objects have separated from the ship.  They're balloon animal rockets!!  There's no way I can out run them!!  Well, I guess those darn Bozos got me.  I'm going to arm all ritos on board and try to ram their craft back through the black hole, then detonate all ordinance.  Please tell Spacegirlie that she's the best test pilot I've ever worked with and to the rest of the crew, it's be a honor to serve with you!!  I'm almost there, balloon animal rockets are almost on me!  This is it!!  For the Cause!!  I ... (static)

[Peter]

NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

:eek :eek  :eek :eek  :eek :eek  :eek :eek  :eek :eek  :eek :eek  :eek :eek  

not one of my best customers!!! (except for coffee... )

[Peter]

OK, this calls for drastic action...

(mixing blue bottle, Everclear and that secret magnetically contained fluid in one bucket in order to dreacte a dynamic trans-morphing spacetime bending cocktail... (I don't get many requests for those... They sound better as they taste)

throwing bucket into wormhole behind the bar (actually it isn't mine... Wanda -the Panda- was doing a science project for school on the subject of little wormholes...)

"Now if my mixing proportions are correct, this should have opened a small morphic wormhole with a temporal destortion of lets say abnout 10 to 15 minutes to Mons his cockpit... Who knows... will he be able to jump trhough it before it collapses, or before he explodes come to think of it..."

Peter

[spacegirlie]

mons...I'm coming in after ya.  I intercepted those rockets and blew them to smithereens.   If your craft is in tact, I will tow you in...otherwise I'll beam you aboard with me.  

Whew.......that was hairy.  I think we better partake in some consumption sports at Pete's.  

BTW:  Thanks for not using ME for target practice.  I know ov will be disappointed about the jetski......but it's good to be here.  And good to still have you as my flying buddy too.

SG

[Mons]

Get me to the bar and don't stop me until I can't speak.  I do think that I could have survived that explosion!  You're my savior!

BTW:  I don't think the high yield ritos should be used.  Those Bozos must have come from another reality where there was no one to fight them!  They were huge!!! (shaking and one eye twitching)

Mons

[Peter]

Lol, that is the good part of being a ships docter AND a bartender... I can get you everclear by means of intravenous insertion...

Pete

[dingo15068]

Mon's Sorry about the quazar "rito" testing.....We will destroy the recipy....I had no clue it would open a demintinal dorrway into a "Bozo" universe.

Peter:  Now I know what that special brew is for, I will leave it alone from now on...I just added a few drops into the "rito" in order to spice it up.

Spacegirlie, thank you for taking out those invaders and retrieving Mon's....Test pilots are hard to find.

Yale.....Here is a mop, next time you midnight snack, please mop up the leftover's...we do not need the inspectors coming here and invading the kitchen

Mons:  Hmmm everclear is not strong enough to repair the damage....How about an IV of Sirium Ice Tea concentrate instead

[Mons]

After that, I take anything!  I'll be over at Pete's if the Captian want to talk with me!

Mons