Recipes you think would make excellent weapons

[dingo15068]

Post your most "explosive recipies"...those capible of massive gasuos weapondry

[yales]

www.farts.com/cookbook.htm

bigobb.terrashare.com/beanr.htm

yale

[payloadcontroller]

1 head fresh broccoli, chopped
1 head cabbage, shredded (your choice of variety, but Chinese works well)
1 pkg bean sprouts
1 can garbanzo beans
Toasted soybeans (~1/4 cup)
raw sunflower seeds (~1/4 cup)
1 can bamboo shoots
1 can sliced water chestnuts
1 pkg Ramen soup mix (your choice flavor)

Toss all ingredients except soup mix in a big salad bowl. Remove Ramen noodles from package, crumble, and scatter over salad. Mix a basic viniagrette dressing (oil/vinegar to taste), but use the soup seasoning packet in the dressing. Shake dressing well. Pour over salad.

Serve with some sort of Oriental beer or sake. 0.5 hour after meal, perform EVA (making sure exo suit is properly vented) and search for bozos.

[RedWhiteArcher]

Here is something sort of a joke and an ultimate weapon suggestion:
The CIA agent reports its findings after a spy mission in Soviet/Russian army
-So tell me what you have seen.
-Oh. The Spetsnaz commando are cruel and efficients.
-Hmm. What else.
-The soldiers are well trained and very dangerous. But thats nothing comparing to Stroibat (soldiers that specialize in buildings).
-Tell me about these "Stroibats"
-They are so vicious that they don't even give them weapons!

[yelmalio]

Categories: Pasta, Vegetarian
      Yield: 4 servings
 
      8 oz Dry chick peas, soaked        
      1 lb Elbow macaroni                
      2 ea Garlic cloves, crushed        
      2 tb Olive oil                    
      1 tb Basil
      1 tb Parsley
           Olive oil for drizzling

Drain & wash chick peas. Cook for 50 to 60 minutes, or until tender.
 
Meanwhile, cook the macaroni in a large pan of boiling water, lightly salted for 10 minutes, or until just resistant to the bite. Drain.
 
Saute garlic in a large skillet in olive oil for a few minutes. Add cooked, drained chick peas & macaroni. Mix in the basil & parsley. Cook over a very low heat, stirring occasionally, til the flavours are absorbed & the mixture is heated through. Season with salt & pepper & serve hot with a crisp green salad.
-----------------------------------------------------------

A variation I have seen and used was to add 6/8 crushed, dried (small, hot) chillis in with the Chick Peas, drain and add as above.

[davidf01]

A little recipe I stumbled across here:

Enjoy Chinese Good Fart's Soup

Chinese Soup is wonderful on cold nights. We have found a very old Chinese Soup Recipe called Good Fart's Soup. This soup is ideal if you are not going to be around people after eating it. We recommend that you take small cups and not big bowls of this soup. The farting can go on for over 24 hours. The old record for the most farts after one bowl of this soup is 398. Only those who are trying for a Guiness World Farting Record should attempt more than one bowl.

Use the following ingrediants for this soup: 1/4 of small head of cabbage (4 to 6 ounces), 1 1/2 tablespoons vegetable oil, 8 ounces boneless lean pork, cut into thin strips, 6 cups chicken broth, 2 tablespoons soy sauce, 1/2 teaspoon minced fresh ginger, 8 green onions with tops, diagonally cut into 1/2 inch slices and 4 ounces Chinese-style thin egg noodles.

Remove the core from the cabbage and discard. Shred cabbage, heat oil in wok or large skillet over medium-high heat. Add cabbage and pork, stir-fry until pork is no longer pink in the center.(about 5 minutes) Add chicken broth, soy sauce and ginger. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low; simmer 10 minutes, stirring occasionally. Stir in onions and then add noodles. Cook just until noodles are tender 2 to 4 minutes. This recipe makes 4 servings so if you are having a large party of friends over, make double or triple the recipe. It is always fun to watch your guest's faces when they have to start farting at any party. The women are the most fun to watch because they try to make silent farts and often put the blame on their dog or cat.

[Yevaud]

El Paso Death Diet:

Pickled eggs, Italian spicy sausage, lots of cheap dark beer.

Shake well, and bring a fire extinguisher.  For those of you who also were in the US military: (waving arms frantically) "Gas!  Gas!  Mask!  Mask!"

--Yev

[Tiglath III]

This one always does it for me.

One head chopped cabbage.
1 egg yolk
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup vinegar
butter (size of an egg)
red pepper (as much as you can stand)
1 cup cream

Beat together in pan all ingredients except the cabbage and cream.  Stir over heat until it boils.  Stir in cream: let boil stirring constantly.  Pour over chopped cabbage while hot and serve.

[yales]

Pepperoni and pastrami Reuben sandwich on Pumpernickel bread.
(Heavy on the saurerkraut)

LOTS of malt liquor.

Jog 2 miles in hot humid Sun.

--- yale

[Yevaud]

Yales, buddy, that's not a diet...that's a walking thermal reaction.  White Phosphorus chaser, anyone?

Reminds me of the worst Hindu meal I ever had...distress for 2 days.  My friends and I were just downright unapproachable.

*urp*

--Yev

[Kelvar1]

This stuff is so toxic it burns going down, and coming out.

Korean Kim chi-

Ingredients:

 6 lbs. Whole(Napa) cabbage, 2 or 3 fresh and firmly headed cabbages
 3/4 cup Coarse salt or kosher salt (granules)
 4qts. Water
 1 lb. Korean radish (mu), julienned.
 1 cup Carrot, julienned (optional)
 1/2 cup Rice porridge, 1 tablespoon rice flour dissolved in 3/4 cup water, bring to a boil and cool. (used to encourage proper fermentation)
 1/2 cup Clear fish sauce or 1/3 cup fermented baby shrimp paste.
 1 tsp. Finely ground red pepper powder (Koch'u karu)
 1/2 tsp. Red hot dry chili flakes (for kimchi use)
 1 tsp. Fresh Garlic, crushed to a paste (4 or 5 large cloves, peeled)
 1/4 oz. Fresh ginger, peeled, crushed to a paste
 2 cups Scallion, cut into 2 inch pieces (narrow strips)
 1 cup Indian mustard leaves (kat), cut in 2 inch pieces (optional)
 1 cup Korean watercress (minari), cut in 2 inch lengths (optional)
 1/3 cup Sponge seaweed (ch'onggak), cut in 2 inch lengths (optional)
 1/4 cup Red dry chili threads (sil goch'u)
 1 tsp. Sugar (optional, a modern addition)
 1/4 tsp. MSG. (optional, a modern addition)
 1/2 cup Fresh oysters, rinsed in light brine and drained (optional)

Preparations :  
 

1. Trim and discard discolored outer leaves. Then take a cabbage and cut it from the end of the root, tip down, 1/3 of the length toward the root end. Hold each part of the cabbage firmly and pull it in half. Do not cut the cabbage all the way through since this will damage the tender, inner leaves, which are the tastiest part. The inner leaves will still be attached to the cabbage core when the cabbage is torn in half.


2. Prepare the brine. Mix 5 ounces salt (3/4 cup) with the water in a glass, stone or plastic container. Put the cabbage upright into the container covered in brine and soak from 16 to 18 hours or overnight. Then rinse the cabbage thoroughly in cold water and drain well.

3. Prepare the radish. Mix the radish with 1 tablespoon salt to wilt it. Do not rinse.

4. Prepare the red paste. In a large enough mixing bowl, put the rice porridge, fish sauce, red pepper powder, red chili flakes, garlic and 4.ginger paste. Mix this together with the wilted radish and the carrots. Now add the scallion, mustard leaves, watercress, red chili threads and oysters. Stir these items gently into the red paste mixture.

5. Prepare the cabbage. Lift up the leaves of the cabbage which are still attached to the core and push the stuffing between the leaves in moderate amounts in a layering process. Do this using all the stuffing with all the cabbage leaves. Now take two of the flexible outer leaves and fold them around the cabbage halves to wrap the stuffing inside. The leaves on the tip of the cabbage are folded over and tucked into the outer folded-over leaves.

6. Place the stuffed cabbage halves flat into the storage container of your choice with the inner leaves facing up. Keep in a cool, clean, shaded place or cellar to ferment.

7. If the container is not full then the empty space should be filled with the remaining 1 tablespoon salt dissolved in 1 cup of water. This additional liquid should cover the cabbage, which should not be exposed to air lest it spoil. Fermentation takes from 3 to 4 weeks in a cool place for full maturity. You may care to sample the kimchi when lightly fermented after 2 weeks.

Care should be taken to never stand downwind of regular consumers of kim chi.

[dingo15068]

To all contributors....thank you for the recipies.  Accual consumption of some of them have been tested.  With varying degree's of sucess.  Kevlar, I will let you know about the Kim Chi is a few weeks.  Always wanted the recipy

[Kelvar1]

Did a web search for it, Korean site had numerous recipes. Hmm, history folder...try this link if you want more

www.kimchikorea.net/engli...temap.html

[sunspots4ever]

Ship's Librarian would like to report discovery of a potential new stealth weapon. Smaller than 'ritos, and thus more easily concealed, I recommend these be carried by our Spy Corps on covert ops...

   Lethal potential was only discovered when I accidentally tripled amounts of chili powders in this recipe.

Chili Corn Chips

1/2 c. buttermilk
3 T. oil
1/2 c. yellow cornmeal
1/2 c. toasted cornmeal
1/2 c. whole wheat pastry flour
3/4 t. salt
1/4 t. soda
1/8 t. cayenne pepper
1/2 t. chili powder (or to taste... proceed at your own risk!)
salt or paprika

Preheat oven to 350 deg.

Combine buttermilk and oil in mixing bowl, thoroughly stir together dry ingredients. Add milk mixture and stir til dough forms a ball. Knead on floured board for a bout 5 minutes, adding a little more flour if needed.

Divide dough in half, roll each piece into a twelve-inch square. Cut into one inch squares. Sprinkle with salt or paprika.

Bake on lightly greased baking sheet for 15 minutes, or until slightly brown around edges. Cool slightly before removing from sheet, finish cooling on rack.

Store in loosely covered container.
Yields 8 to 10 dozen small chips.

[payloadcontroller]

[img src ="http://www.cookingpost.com/products/733.jpg[/img]


Two Flaming Arrows Hot Sauce

For brave people! Cayenne, habañero and other peppers, blended with tomatoes, garlic, orange juice, honey and spices. HOT!!!