Chapter 5: Bozo in our midst.....

[Original Labatt]

We do about the Bozo's in SDC?  We are all here and Nemisis has given control of his ship and Minion outpost1 until sunday.

[payloadcontroller]

Lay low, Labby. With any luck nothing will happen until Nem gets back. Just lay low....keep me posted.

[Original Labatt]

Got ya Admiral.

[dingo15068]

Waking up from the stunning....decides to take a different tact.  Going into his doghouse, he opens up a special compartment, and takes out a bottle of "Dave's Insanity Sauce...Private Reserve"  Taking a swig from the bottle, his mouth explodes in extreame heat.....yep still fresh.  Pours a small circle, it cuts a hole into the deck...Dropping through the hole, he lands in the kitchen on Deck 15...Pushing the red button marked "DO NOT PUSH" he seals the kitchen off from all sensors,  scanners. and stunners.  All hatches are sealed..he lights up the stove, and prepares a special meal for the crew.  Sending the gormet meal to the dining area, he observes the crew enjoying his wonderful meal and smiles.  He then pushes the Red Button again, unsealing the kitchen, and hops up on top of the stove to the top of the fridge.  Jumping back through the hole into his doghouse, he covers the whole with a piece of decking used for emergancy repairs.  curls back up, and goes back to sleep like he is stunned...now this crew will have such fun...no holodeck this time, and this is no dream..last thing, he hacks into the communications network, and changes the sublimital logic broadcast to one of illogic....this crew forgets that my hearing is ranged up to the point that I hear sublimital messages....Long Live Art Belll .....zzzzzzzzzzzzz

[The Borg Collective]

We are detecting large leaks of illogic onboard your vessel. Check your communications systems...we are picking up some unusual signals...

[skyjim]

Captain Skyjim sits down at breakfast, takes a sip of his tea, and clutches his throat....

   He manages to activate his comm circuit and, in a strangled, hoarse whisper, croaks "Red Alert!  Foodstuffs contaminated!  Call the admiral...........Emergen...... Aghh!"

  The captain slumps to the deck, unconscious.  

[payloadcontroller]

Pete! Get over here and help the Captain! He's down!

Dang it - Dingo's been at the comm, too. He forgets my Avian hearing can detect the high frequencies just like his. Well, lemme see here....

(Adm goes to nearest service panel in hangar deck, jimmies open, and plays with the circuitry thus revealed.)

OK, there. That takes care of....
(All subliminal messages go down. Comm is quiet.)

Now, for a little adjustments to the food distribution...
(Studies panel for a few seconds, then begins more modifications.) Urf. Mmmmm...yeah, that one. Lessee....got it.
(Soft hum begins, as WAN III obeys her Admiral and begins replacing Dingo's special delights. Adm moves to comm.)

OK, crew, please replace all your food with the latest out of the distribution system. Toss the old stuff into the engine intake.
(Noticable boost in thrust evident.)
There we go. Now, let's check on something....

(Pulls up computer schematics of WAN III.) AHA! THAT explains it! Dingy's quarters are RIGHT over the weapons bay/kitchen! (Slaps comm switch) SECURITY!!! Place a force field completely around Captain Dingo's quarters IMMEDIATELY! Walls, ceiling, and floor! I want that field frequency- and amplitude-variant, set on a random-number generator! Base it on a mathematical system combining pi, the square root of two, and the square root of -1, in a 25th-order polynomial! NOW!!!

(The Admiral turns to the group in the hangar bay, as the positive response comes in from Security, "Field established, Admiral. Per your orders." The Admiral leaves the comm on Fleet-wide broadcast.)

Peter, how's Skyjim?

All right, people. Enough is enough. I have had it with these bozoid nanites. I feel quite confident that the secret recipes of the WAN Fleet did NOT fall into the hands of the Bozo Command, but we cannot have Dingo wreaking havoc on the ship. It lends a whole new meaning to the phrase, "let loose the dogs of war."

Obviously, logic is not working here. And I think I understand why. These nanites are, after all, machines. Machines must function on logic at some level, or they will not function at all. Therefore, we must overload them with illogic.

All crew, return to your quarters. Pull out any party favors, Halloween costumes, whatever you have, spend ten minutes preparing yourselves. We are about to bombard the bozoid nanites with more illogic than even Art Bell himself could manage. After all, we know our logic - all we have to do is the opposite.

All ships, institute Operation: CounterIntelligence, on my mark.

Three...


Two...


One...


MARK!!!!!

[sunspots4ever]

(Librarian broadcasts the ships' copy of "Plan Nine From Outer Space" over vid screen ship-wide to flush out any nanobots loose in the hallways, and digs out a tomato costume from a dusty closet in the library...)

[The Borg Collective]

We will be staying far away from your vessel...inform us when you are restored, and let us know if you need any help. We are not capable of illogical attacks, however.

[dingo15068]

Noticing that the sublimitals are no longer broadcasting...Dingo wakes up....removing the hull plate to the hole to the kitchen, he is stopped by a force field...he become fustrated as all of his skills are to not, and he is unable to pass the force field.  He attemps to bypass the comm equipment to make a ship wide broadcast...and his attempt fails.  Understanding the danger he is in, he directs the nano bots to take extream measures...they destoy all sensors and broadcast equipment in his quarters.  Preventing any incoming communications, and broadcasts.  He then directs them to form a feedback barrier against the force field.  Using illogical algarithems to create an additional force field to prevent enterance into his quarters..he then prepares a time surprise.  After the surprise is ready, he orders the nano bots to selfdestruct.  As the bots destroy themselves, Dingo's memory is altered, and the surprise is forgotten, as well as all activities that has taken place sense his capture.  The second force field collapes as the last bot completes it's self destruction.  Dingo collapeses in critical condition.... The Bozo level is down to zero

[Original Labatt]

Science Officer Odezy has briefed me on the wearabouts of Minion Ooupost1.  We have reached it and have established a level 3 defensive peremiter.  The Bozo fleet is moving steadly to our location.  W.A.N IV is getting patched up along with some of the interstellar fleet.  I will keep you posted Admiral.

Labatt out.

[Peter]

pub80.ezboard.com/feverythingspacefrm6.showMessage?topicID=259.topic

[Peter]

Using the last posting powers I can control...

"You guys have been, and allways shall be... my friends!'

Peter

PS: Expect to be online in 2-3 days... So forgive my dramatic statement

[Peter]

To fit into story line: *Knowing what the effet of the bozo nanaobots is, the bartender takes out his secret stach of whiskey... Emptying the bottles in a matter of minutes....

"If I can't controll my brain, nor will Art Bell!" shouts the barkeep, going into instant delirium..."

This is how the doc got knocked out...*

Peter

PS: Feel free to let Wanda act... she is immune to bozo thougts... Being an overintelligent Panda...

Pete out.... bye

[Original Labatt]

Thanks Pete, and we shal always be Friends!