Chapter 5: Bozo in our midst.....

[payloadcontroller]

a) hammer on the Principia!

b) invert the stuff we're giving him! Instead of coffee, give cotton candy, etc.

c) {glancing at watch} All ships, raise shields!

d) Borg collective, I have recieved intelligence that indicates that the Imperial Guard will be here with your ship and crew in approximately 6 Terran hours. That will be enough time to avoid the shock wave.

e) Nem, please realize that I only post during non-Terran-work hours. You have performed your duties correctly, thank you for taking the initiative.

f) counting down.....ten...


...nine...


...eight...


...seven...


...six...


All ships, if you have not erected shields, DO SO NOW! THIS IS AN ORDER!!!


...four...


...three...


...two...

[Peter]

You can see the bartender holding the communicator... looking confused..

Widely opened eyes... Tension can be read from his face... He quickely snatches the glass of whiskey from the table, and does an ad fundum...

As if he fears it might be his last if this goes wrong...

[payloadcontroller]

In the distance, near the location of what had been the negotiation site, a white-hot spot flares brightly. A rapidly expanding shockwave moves out from the locus, advancing on the departing WAN fleet.

The wavefront impinges the rear of the Fleet, and ships rock violently as it passes through the entire fleet. On the Bridge, a china cup and saucer vibrates its way off the arm of the Captain's chair, smashing to the deck.

As the shock wave passes onward, WAN sensors trained on the origin of the blast detect nothing except some debris, confetti, and shredded balloons floating in the vacuum of space.

[Nemisis two]

(Comm activates and the image of Nemisis2 sitting sideways in chair like kirk appears)
Who and where do i divert?

Sorry Admiral, forgot about that.

The WAN IV is ready for a new assignment, my drones grow weary of sitting here.

[Original Labatt]

We have cleared all major Bozo threats.  We did not take any damage to the Fleet.  Mons since you are Space Girlies second in Command You have full control of  ISS Bozoblaster.  
Mons take the second Squadron behing the debree and hydrogen clouds so that you will be harder to detect.  Await further orders from me.  

Admiral, say the word and I will attack.

Supreme Commander Labatt.

[Nemisis two]

I thought the Bozoblaster was Spacegirlies ship?
Commander Labatt i never made you in command of a WAN starship that had other members on because they are beyond my ability to do that(atleast i think so).

[Mons]

zzzztk... I hate to... zzzkt .... major problems here!  I... zzzkt... loss of main drive, loss of ... zzzkt (static) life support down to ... zzzkt ... nav off line.  Fires on decks 11 through ...zzzkt, buzzzzzz.... oh crud!  and deck 14!!  Blast wave was too muc... zzzkt.  There is a manual over-ride for the helm but ... zzzkt  squak  zzzzkt  Dingo knows how to operate it!!  You .... zzzzkt make him better or we're gonna burn ... zzzkt....

[Nemisis two]

(straps a mental image transfere device to dingos head)
Alright nanoprobes, leave dingo or a marathon of cheesy jokes are going to barrage you for several hours straight.
(Activates joke device and Dingos body starts to shake in convulsions)

What do you get when you cross an owl with a cat?
An owly cat.

What do you call a four armed, ten foot, razor tooth creature?
What ever he wants to be called?

Why can't elephants ride bikes?
Because they have no thumbs to press the bell.

[spacegirlie]

Hey now....wassup with that?  You guys taking over my ship?

[Nemisis two]

I'm not trying to take over your ship, Labatt probably misunderstood something.
But i'm not in charge of any ship stealing.

Labatt send some ship to alternateearth.com/forum/default.asp

[sunspots4ever]

In spite of the drinks, I was getting laryngitis! If you will take "The Principia," I will search the Libraryfor more ammunition! Back ASAP!!

[dingo15068]

Ignorance is bliss.....incorrect....
Knowledge root of all evil...incorrect
Manual override button is located in kitchen.  Click refrigerator light button 3 times in rapid sucession, followed by turning leftmost oven to selfclean....correct
Logic and illogic are both needed, to prove logic....correct
Beware Bozo Intellegence Command..they drained my mind have all my weapons recipies, and defence recipies...correct
Bozo Senior Comand is as smart as us.  The hide logic behind illogical statements to control the masses....correct
Bozo nanobots can not be assimulated due to logic behind Chaos princilple.  They can be tricked with illogic, based on logic...correct
Art Bell just mouthpiece behind real Bozo High command...correct
Bozo Nano-bots are designed to home in on logic....incorrect
Bozo High command has no desire for WAN space....they just want to be left alone in their space....correct
All Bozo intellegence's agents have one draw-back...they always drink Martinias..shaken, not stirred....correct
Bozo-nanobot counter agent is as follows:
1 imperial gallen of Siriun Ice Tea, immdiately followed by 3 pots of SuperBush coffee...correct
Bozo-bots discovered that influence of logic active...activating
Long Live Art Bell protocalls

[Mons]

Thanks guys!  Dingo came out of that with not a second to spare!  I've got most of the BozoBlaster's systems on manual.  I need a sector name to rejoin the rest of the fleet!

Spacegirlie, I could use your help up on the bridge here.  There's a lot of manual inputs to do!

How's is Dingo doing?  If what he says is true, we need to change all of his security codes.

Mons

[Bozo Intellegence Command]

(skreech)  Institute WAN security override code Dingopup:

(skreech)  WAN ship control override activated

(crackle) WAN override activation achived

(skreech) Set course fartherst side from Bozo space in WAN sector....Course locked in....lockout of controls achived...

(crackle)  Engage: send all WAN ships away from our border...max speed.


(skreech) lock borders.......Institute sector dimentinal transference....this sector of space is inhabited by logical beaings...lets go home back to our own dimention.....Activate


A bright flash occurs, as a whole sector of space disappears

[skyjim]

Mons - glad you're coming through clearly!

Do you require any assistance?


Skyjim
CO, WAN III