Chapter 5: Bozo in our midst.....

[nerd57 Laugi]

"Crashing... crashing... CRASHING?!"
*Oh, and your first computer crashed... OH MY GOODNESS, PULL UP!*
Nerd57 runs over to his control panel, but is knocked to the ground as the Draconis suddenly sweeps up, narrowly missing Minion Station.
"SHASH! Gelp shto!"
*Sorry, got preoccupied. Sog, guess I'll have to go now. I'll see you later. And watch out for any ships that begin hailing on the Frequency...*
"Frequency... frequency... What frequency! WHO ARE YOU!"

[nerd57 Laugi]

*message intercept: decode:
100010100101101101010101010010111010101111101*
*decode:
Nemisis2. This is Nerd57 reporting. I can't feel Laugi or Termina. How are they? I think the electrical shocks knocked out my mind-link. I'd work on reestablishing it, but I'd need Laugi and Termina to be near me too. What are your orders, sir?*

[skyjim]

This is the Captain.
Station the special space details!
Prepare for mooring in spacedock one.  

The ship will remain on internal power, and under quarantine pending analysis of the bozobot incident.  No spacedock access will be available until investigation is completed.

All personnel are to observe underway protocols.  Maneuvering watch will be continuously stationed on the bridge.  

Transporters are deactivated, and all docking bays and access hatches are locked and guarded.   No material or personnel transfers are authorized until ordered by myself or Admiral PLC.

Helm, dead slow.  

Align docking reticle on forward display.......

Helm, attitude hold on my mark.

MARK!

"Helm, attitude hold, aye."

hold approach rate 0.3 meters per second.

"Helm, 0.3, aye."

Range to mooring contact?

"100 meters, sir"

Steady as she goes.

Give me a range call at 40 meters, quartermaster!

"Quartermaster, aye, sir."

Helm, you're drifting - Z plus 0.05 meters per second!

" Helm, aye, aye, sir."

"40 meters, sir!"

Thank you.  Helm, good correction.  We're in the box.  Report when autodock signal is received!

"Helm, aye, sir."

Range?

"35 meters, sir."

"Captain from Helm.  I have autodock signal"

Very well.  All stop.  Engage autodock!

"Helm, all stop, aye.  Engaged, sir.  Tractor momentarily"

Captain to crew - prepare for mooring tractor.

(WAN III shudders very slightly as the dock tractor beam establishes contact. )

Deploy bollards!

(A series of mushroom-shaped projections rise from the smooth exterior hull contours.)

"Bollards deployed, sir"

(As the WAN III inches forward under the tractor beam, mooring arms extend from the dock structure to engage the bollards.  A series of small shudders is felt throughout the ship.   A display shows a series of red lights rippling to green)    

"Capture!"

Acknowledged, helm.  Confirm hard docked and locked.

"Docked and locked, affirmative, sir."

WAN III to master, dock one!

"Dock one, recieiving.  We confirm hard dock.  Welcome home!"

Thank you!   WAN III, out.

[meteoroid]

As soon as quarantine is over would the admiral like us to start work on a wing of long range strike fighters to hunt down bozo convoys carrying capsian oil?

[The Borg Collective]

We could help with finding them. We cannot attack them, due to the agreement reached in negotiations, but we could tell you their commonly used routes...

[payloadcontroller]

Meteoroid, excellent suggestion. I do feel that the little booby-traps that I placed in the recipes are probably in good shape to prevent them, but let us not be over-confident. Four-man ultraclippers should do nicely. If you would, please begin your design work immediately.

Borg Collective, your intelligence information on this would be MOST appreciated. Bozo and Borg are natural enemies, so it stands to reason that the prevention of bozoid 'rito bombardment would be advantageous to both of us. I thank you.

[dingo15068]

Recovering from massive injuries of unknown origin..Accessing border monitoring system..Dingo1 sends the following report to Admiral PLC:

Admiral,
I do not remember much since the rescue attempt on you skit.  My mind feels like it been through a ringer.  That last attack on my vessal overwelmed all of my defenses.  I do remimber my last command aboard my little ship was the self destruct before I passed out.  I have fleeting memories of being surrounded by clowns,and hearing the name Art Bell being pounded in my head.
Apparently I was rescued from my little ship.  I have just accessed our border sensors, and they have registered controlled patterns of Super "Rito" explosions systematicly similar to our weapons testing program, but they seem to be launched from a circus tent???  Our sensors do not show any of our ships in the vacinity of those explosions.
I have recorded a strange message in my mail box, from an organisation calling itself the "Bozo Intellegence Command" I do not know who they are, but they have left me some unusual orders.  I have also noted that a copy of our special recipy book has been copied, you know the one with the wrong secret ingrediant instead of "Pure Capsiun Oil" Worst thing is they have instructed me to send them "Pure Capsiun Oil"  That is a highly classified material, and only used in our most damaging weapons.  The message also reports to me that the most highly classified information on our special shielding is in their knowledge base.  Only you, myself and fleet HQ had knowledge of that information, let alone that it exists.  Has Fleet HQ been penitrated by a spy??  Whats going on??

[Nemisis two]

Nerd, do not know what going on with laughin or the termina.
You cannot come aboard as we are in quarintine, report to SDC space as Venusdaystar is preparing to open a full attack on Clifdweller and we may need assitance.

[Mons]

This is Commander Mons aboard the ISS BozoBlaster.  We are coming up on your position.  We will patrol the area until repairs to the WAN III are completed.  When that is done, we need to dock for about 2 hours to take on fuel, supplies and RUM!!!!  Thanks!

Mons out.

[skyjim]

Mons, we look forward to a drink in Pete's Place soon!  Well done!

Dingo, it is good to see you back to normal!

[The Borg Collective]

We have registered several disturbences in a sector of one of our transwarp conduits...ships have been passing through the normal space that the conduit passes through. The ships are cloaked, which leads us to believe that they are bozo, however, they still disturb the subspace conduits, so we can trace their intrusion. We are sending our sensor logs, edited, translated and simplified for you.